I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
