butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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