We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
