Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
