We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You dont lie about slip and slides
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
