We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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