i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
