I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
