after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
