I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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