Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
