we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
