Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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