but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
