Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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