I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
