I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
