i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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