I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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