theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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