Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
