Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
