I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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