I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
