it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize