Me. At least after what I've been through.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
