Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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