jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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