You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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