So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
