honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
