your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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