If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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