idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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