I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize