I want to walk on stilts...naked
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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