The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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