Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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