I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
