Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
