The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
