grandma shit on top of the toilet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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