you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Farmville is her only friend.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize