So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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