Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
