I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I did not marry a roomba.
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