we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
