Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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