i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
