This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
