she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
