return my video game
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
