I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
