I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
