you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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