He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
