you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
