On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
