are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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