Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
