I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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