there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize