bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
