You're my little dorito
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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