My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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