Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize